marriage is not-is the issue

finding self between this and that

between youth and wisdom

male and female

employed and poor

between two trapeze bars

flailing with serenity

floating with fear

“i” am the 3rd dimension

(as you are too ;))

that soothes such disparate dualities

that seem so simple, either/or

in this both/and whirrld

why should i be surprised

that after years of inwardly feeling opposed to marriage

yet outwardly participating in family and friends’ weddings

with love

i find myself engaged to officiate two beloveds union

love is a wonderful thing however you wanna name it claim it

this is what has been the 3rd dimension to any 2-D factions


marriage itself is empty of any definition

we all know friends and loved ones who embody and breath life into its name

fill it in incredibly diverse and unique ways

never mind how any state/government tries to define it

some want the healthcare for their ill life-partner

some want recognition from distant relatives

to reach any speck of common ground

even if it is all based on incongruent lived definitions of marriage

life is short and any entrée into connectivity is a balm for the soul

some want none of it and want others to want none of it

some want all of it and want others to want all of it

both sides of the proverbial coin spin into a blur – becoming one or no-thing

such familiar territory i am, we are

and we jointly walk it everyday

this world of slippery perceptions and misperceptions

the mash-up of sides is not conflicted in me

it is me

it is how i behold you

and you

and you

and here’s this fabulous dangerous video on transgender beings discussing whether to go to friends’ wedding ceremonies or not.

i confide in dean spade’s brilliant script, as surely as i do un-script-able love.

interestingly, married friends and anti-marriage friends have equally found it hilarious.

i hope you get a laugh.

Love__Story (also below)

The two sides of this coin:

-its complicated

-it’s no-thing


[never mind that averting harassment, beatings, firings, lack of healthcare, family and peer ostracization, intrapersonal self-worth issues, and sex-segregated facilities are of a higher priority on the queer heartmind than legal union…]


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