birth-on-earth-day

that’s a weird one, eh. as there was sensing and learning and being and becoming well before i transitioned through the ring-of-fire-of-my-mother’s-body. and there is some beingness in a direct cellular lineage from when she was forming in her mother’s pelvis… woh.

ok, some good ‘ol wallowy elliott-typical mullings and mental meanderings happening. my birthday is not a favorite day of mine. historically i have had some record wretched days on this date. and, yeh, there have been some sweet sweet memories made too.

the dance of relative world/ultimate mind (title of one of the twelfth tai situpa’s books) happens on me… in me… of me… yes, of me too; as opposed to the sentiment to be in the world but not of it. i get the point, however, we are the world. [wehw, now i am weeping in laughter rolling out of my seat- not in depressed birthday feeling sorry tears!]

why is poisoning with wine and chocolate a celebratory tendency? mightn’t i wanna cleanse and feel energized and good about this earth-body… or just not exploit my class status as even having access to such extravagance… and eat rice, offering compassion to all of us in need?

see. here’s a rub. in the relative-ultimate dance, my neighbors are preparing for hurricane irene, a bit more i dare project, than say, my grad school mates on the west coast, or in the midwest… this is the relative whirld.

ultimately, the earth is sure getting a localized yet earth-sized massage, and we all may experience effects… but this is all relative, relatively. the mandala principle can help interpret this, as a visionary way of perceiving the ultimate, but always through relative tools 😉 i must save discussion of our relative diversity evident via brain research and neuroeducation for another day, yo!

i am sipping wine, licking chocolate off my palate, and hearing the wind pick up and the first drops of water patter the window.

i am warmly confused by my study of life- having at times favored acute sensory awareness on the physical level of what is actually happening. discerning which ovary is releasing an egg, or which aspect of the breath cycle i fall asleep on, or wake up with are favorite past times of mine…

yet, in some somatic studies, such acute physical detail has been a distraction from my emotional tone. i lost the ability to skillfully label such physical sensations as emotions for years, as i became lost in fascination with the energy -just that- moving through… and now i am called to get back to more pure description of what is actually happening beneath the emotional tone again…

harrumph.

i do love debunking intuition as some mamby pamby thing that one has relation to or not; as well as the art of anything being something that one has or does not! with enough devoted attention to what is happening, by slowing down enough, there are discernable parts to everything… breath, ovulation, teaching, and even, yes, of course, reading signals – super subtle social and somatic and planetary cues that tell us how or what another person is feeling/thinking, or even about to “do”. with enough practice, like a compassionate warrior, one can be so present with what is that one can respond gracefully in time, on time, in space, with space… not with a threatened hyper alertness, but present-centered awareness, fully awake!

how could it be otherwise, really?

that hit or gut feeling… unpack it! what is in there?!

here’s the thing that’s getting me 😉

the ultimate encompasses the relative, but the relative can experience itself as separate from the ultimate (but it never is separate). we absolutely do already have the tools and skills to wake up to what is, to what that fiery person is about to say, what that driver is about to do in traffic, where that tree limb is about to sway…

we just need to get out of our own way… ugh. so said and done cliché.

but this is where the bridge from the relative to the ultimate or/and vice versa is breathing, living.

people describe surprise and relief at experiences or realizations of the both/and gray areas of life, work, realtionshipping… moments of insight.

and yet we still search for clean clear either/or answers out of the relative nature of our very beings!

sorry folks, i’m not getting anywhere with this, i’m not trying to go anywhere.

thank whatever you thank, that i am on course for a thesis writing year, wherein the study of phenomenology, hermeneutics, and semiotics, as well as cleaning up my writing voice are full-on! 😉

in oh-so-elliott style, everything i see/touch/taste/read is a rabbit hole i fall into and in love with… i have been wanting to write about nama rupa since before i started this masters program, and now i want to write about writing. what a sweet mess.

i leave you with two excerpts from others who write more clearly:

“Holding the seemingly ambiguous perspective of the Two Truths is very useful and liberating for teachers. We could simultaneously know that our classrooms and curriculum are both perfect and flawed. This is very important. Our students are both buddhas and imperfect. Our materials are both sacred and inadequate. By practicing this view we are not preoccupied or overwhelmed by the shortcomings and pain we experience during everyday teaching, nor do we withdraw into a superficial “all is good” mentality, a false understanding of the ultimate. We notice problems and work to improve them and at the same time we understand the ultimate goodness and balance of all situations.” (Richard Brown, n.d., in an online textual lecture)

[an example of historic contemplative debate amongst different (haha) schools of Buddhism]

Position 1: Relative truth and absolute truth do not conflict.

Position 2: Relative truth and ultimate truth conflict because they are two separate truths.

Position 1: Relative truth is the law of cause and result, which creates the outer manifestation of everything, and ultimate truth is the essential inner nature of this manifestation, so they are parts of the same truth and not in conflict.

Position 2: That makes two interdependent truths. If truth is interdependent then it cannot be the truth. Interdependence makes it incomplete in itself because it is dependent upon something else for its existence; therefore it cannot be the truth. And if both truths are equally true, how can they not conflict?

Position 1: They do not conflict because ultimate truth is the ultimate truth of the relative world, and relative truth is the relative manifestation of the ultimate nature of all things. Ultimate truth and relative truth are both equally valid because they are the two aspects of the truth. Without realization, however, any presentation of relative and ultimate truth can only be relatively true.” The Twelfth Tai Situpa. (1992). Relative world ultimate mind. Boston, MA: Shambala. [p. 119]

BOTH/AND   ANYONE? 😉

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2 Responses to “birth-on-earth-day”

  1. Melanie Says:

    I like that you expressed these thoughts/quandaries/entities of being in elliottese. And happy birth-on-earth day!

  2. embodhiment Says:

    heehee thank you dear melanie! i just presume that means my words are an incomprehensible yet perhaps entertaining mash… earth is scrubbing her durham clean for your return 😉

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