never coulda said it’d be worth it

of Terry Tempest Williams. (2012). When Women Were Birds. New York, NY: Picador. pp. 175-182.
“I have never been as lonely as I have been in my marriage. I have also never been more seen or more protected. Love has little to do with it. Marriage is more sandstone than granite… The weathering creates… Beauty is transformed over time and not without destruction.
Landscape is dynamic. So is marriage. [They] and I have changed, and changed each other. What has been washed and eroded away is as important as what remains.”
Williams goes on to support maintaining whatever you find wild and unruly – what you love.
  • …to be lovers and refugees in a culture foreign to your own true nature.
  • feral furies to different fire,
  • deeper fuller fire-fanned,
  • intense, surprising,
  • spacious, honorable,
  • shared history and mystery remaining…
  • renewed and ragged…
  • crashing and hot and staying…
  • day-dreamy, cozy, and calm…
  • restless, laughing, and serious…
  • bursting, skeptical, and amused…
  • dismantled, transporting, and here
my personal favorites:
“…meaning resides in the process of obfuscation.”
“The act itself can be  beautiful, revelatory, and private.”
(referring to the individual’s privacy – not the couple’s ;))
I recognize these sentiments as it appears I am married to my single life –
my work, other things, and such otherness.
I can never expect you family-creating types to understand 😉
and I can never know the sacrifices you all make.
and you are all I’ve got.
much love, elliott

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