knowledge versus insight

why depression

the well,

well

may

be

because

i know

the space

between

the confidence this voice can sometimes seem to emit

and the deeper

knowing

that i have no,

absolutely

k   no   w

place

from which to

know

or

speak…

or utter…

ANYTHING.

…this living keeps on

thus

sounds keep being made

and sometimes it is sapient (haha)

that constant slamming condensing space that cannot possibly shrink

knowingly

apparently

colliding

into this open sore of

skin ripped by mouth

(or finger typing here. or here abusing bruising a keyboard.)

knowledge:

holidays suck

what with the mash up of expectation and memory and reality

insight:

a

disorienting

visceral feeling

of

space between

holidays suck

and

oh!

yeah~

this pain

is

relief

grief

from having survived a day thinking it is passed, past for one more year round

and the

deep

bottomless

exhausting

body-made-of-lead

i think i’ll go to sleep now

realization

like a wall of freezing water in the face

anticipation

that there’s another

here

is

another

day come forth

right now

survive that

i prefer the ice cream soft

the way it is between the frozen aisle and putting the groceries away

she prefers it frozen solid, can barely eat it as it melts in the bowl just served

i wait for it to be milky soft

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One Response to “knowledge versus insight”

  1. relief grief | embodhiment Says:

    […] bodhisattvas stay in their body « knowledge versus insight […]

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