out-of-the-depths but not into-the-realms

of that old-school stream-of-consciousness daily writing practice…

asked to reflect to what degree i expressed my deepest thoughts…

(i mention charting practices, which is part of a course of study i am undertaking.)

i haven’t felt i’ve gotten very deep… may be based on one’s perspective… i’ve written candidly about my sense of suicide and sense of work and service in the world – sense of purpose… and evolutionary astrology. rather broad, spatial, lofty ganders at the conditions of being. but for some reason, not feeling particularly “deep” to me. naturally, cloaks of auspicious lofty esoteric view can pull one out of the depths – and not “into the realms” either – but rather to a surface – a cloaking – a masking – an avoidance of the true deep. so what’s there?

what’s there: actually a deep connection to daily preciousness. logging data for the 1yr chart of 10 Ayurveda practices has me seeing days/time pass so quickly. so terribly tenderly quickly. and some part of me at least is deeply ok with that at this juncture/this age in/of my life. it does give a weight-y-ness – a Quakerly spiritual depth – and pedestrian mundane gravity clunky here ness to a lens – maybe of the 2 disparate – 1 for each eye – and somehow then one lens to my days – to my pursuit of stopping, slowing, seeing, hearing, feeling hugs and receiving smiles and light in children’s faces, eyes, ooblecked and waterlogged fingers and sleeves. i could say these fallen inky words of 3 days are deep – are revealing my deepest depths – but – i don’t know and i don’t care. i am interested in how my mind clears. yum. tasteless. shunyata acknowledged through gazillions of light years on the side of the periphery of my understanding.

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One Response to “out-of-the-depths but not into-the-realms”

  1. robert turnbull Says:

    I LOVE YOU!!!

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